Written by Suzanne Finnamore

Book Review by Luke Meidell

Author Description

Suzanne Finnamore is the author of the bestseller ‘Otherwise Engaged’ and ‘The Zygote Chronicles.” A journalist who has frequently written for O, Marie Claire, Redbook, Glamour, and Salon, she lives in Northern California with her son.

Summary

Suzanne Finnamore shares the story of the loss of her marriage, from the moment her husband first demands a divorce in the kitchen while gesticulating about his deserved happiness, to him packing a bag and leaving in the night without saying goodbye to their son. She then takes the reader through the stages of grief as her divorce progresses—denial, anger, bargaining, grief, and finally acceptance. She is able to share poignant snapshots and vignettes from her divorce that are at times heart0wrenching and at other times humorous and hopeful:

“The snag about marriage is, it isn’t worth the divorce. My new doctrine is, never marry. I won’t ever again. It is absolute swill.“

“One day I hate his guts and the next day I’m trying to be reasonable and even friendly. One day I’m crying at beer commercials, and the next I’m on the phone to my agent making jokes about how much better my career and life are going without him.”

“N and I walk far up the nearby King Mountain to find the Hale-Bopp comet, twisting higher than we ever have. […] The comet only appears every seventy-eight years. So you have to get up that hill. Because you have to see the comet, and because it is rare and precious, even if it ends.”

Ruminations

One of the things that Suzanne depicts well in her memoir is the manic-depressive emotions that are a natural part of divorce. In one story she describes slowly sliding to floor, disbelief robbing her of her ability to stand. She transitions between grief and giddiness. In a later story she describes feeling a strong resolve to getting her husband back, and finally, near the end, she states that she finally feels good about being unmarried.

I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir. It was well-written and a great description of the ups and downs of every-day life when you’re a parent traversing through a divorce, and while everyone’s divorce will differ, the author manages to capture those feelings that are universal in divorce, and yet she does it in a way that focuses not only on the negatives but also on the positives of divorce, the humor and absurdities of divorce.

Entertainment Value

As entertainment value, I give this book a full 5-stars. The author is not a novice that decided to write her story of divorce. She is seasoned, and it shows in the quality of her writing. Good writing allows you to fall into it without those jarring moments that take you out of the story, and the author does that well even as she mixes lists, stories, and anecdotes.

Helpfulness in Divorce

As for being helpful for you going through your divorce, I’ll give it 4 stars. It’s a great memoir for those who were dumped and a perfect example that there are many others who have gone through similar trials, but it won’t necessarily provide instructions for how you can overcome the grief and pain of your divorce. For that matter, that wasn’t the purpose behind the book, so if you are looking for a cathartic, entertaining, and thoughtful book that will provide you a secret glimpse into the details of someone else’s divorce, look no further. Read it with a martini; read it with olives; just read it.

If you want to try it out, you can purchase it on Amazon at the following link:

https://amzn.to/3sJZyc8